Giving Thanks

In the spirit of this often overlooked holiday, I wanted to share with you one of the things I am most grateful for this Thanksgiving...
The people in this world who are brave enough to disregard stigma, embarrassment, humiliation, urging from their family and friends to do otherwise, and guilt, focusing on the potential to help someone else when they speak up about their depression or anxiety.  Time and time again I am overwhelmed by the number of people that in 2009 alone shared their story in the hopes that it might inspire, lift up, or educate others about mood disorders.  If you'd like to read more about just a few of them, please click their names below and you will link to an article featuring "their story."  Happy Thanksgiving!

Brooke Shields

GA Speaker of the House Glenn Richardson

 Lisa Rinna

Gina Lee Nolan

Angie Harmon

Being Mindful

We've talked before on Beyond Postpartum about approaching life and especially motherhood with an attitude of living in the moment.  In that regard, a few months ago I bought and began reading Buddism for Mothers.  Though I do not practice this religion, I believe that much of this practice and mindset can be implemented into and complement Christianity.  I have read the first chapter or two and I have found some extremely helpful tips.  The one that has stuck most with me over the past weeks was the advice to be mindful of each and every sensation you are experiencing at the very moment it happens.  The heat and softness of your baby's skin as you rock him to sleep.  The way that your mattress cradles your body as you lay down at night.  The smell of the wet leaves on your lawn.  The sound of the gentle breeze blowing through your backyard.  There are so many experiences that we never even notice each and every minute.  Being mindful of exactly the way our senses are being triggered and ignited can put a whole new perspective on life, especially in the moments when we most need such a reminder.

Today, I came across two great articles speaking directly to the topic of mindfulness as it related to depression, motherhood, and life.  I hope you will read and enjoy them.

4 Quick Mindfulness Techniques

10 Quotes for a Mindful Day

Reminder about the Therapist-led PPD Group

Where: Ridgeview Institute
              3995 South Cobb Drive
              Pro North Building
              Group Room 6
              Smyrna, GA 30080
     
When:   1^st and 3^rd Thursdays of every month
             2- 3:30 p.m.
           

Who should attend: Mothers who are struggling or who have struggled with postpartum - depression, anxiety, OCD, panic and/or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

 
Group Facilitator: Jacqueline Cohen, LAPC                                

  404-822-1026

*Due to hospital policy and for the safety of your little ones, please do not bring children to group

Insomnia, and obsessions, and sadness, OH MY!

Today I came across this GREAT article at Postpartum Progress about the signs and symptoms of Postpartum Deression and related disorders.  Though I have done presentations, websites, interviews, etc. about this very topic on several occasions, the lists that I created and rattled off were more like "clinical speak" then the "plain english" Katherine uses in her post.  That's why I wanted to share it here.  She speaks it just like you are probably thinking it when you consider how you are feeling right now.

As I read through the list I realized just how many of these horrible symptoms I dealt with in my darkest hours and how thankful I am to be well now.  Some of these symptoms went away quickly once I stabilized on meds and began therapy (You can't understand why this is happening.  You are very confused and scared.).  Some of them I am still working on, though it is SO MUCH easier now (You're not having that mythical mommy bliss that you see on TV or read about in magazines.). 

Wellness has a spectrum.  It's first stop on the other side of the scale is responding positively to treatment for your PMD.  But it doesn't stop there.  Along that spectrum are a bunch of stops.  On my spectrum, I think that there are infinite stops.  Each time over the past two years I have felt like I was 100% well and fully better and where I wanted to be, the next month something changed and I felt like things actually improved some more.  That's how my motherhood journey has gone so far.  For me, the Hell of PPD was so deep, dark, lonely, scary and hopeless that any improvement made me feel like I was well.  The reality is that in hindsight I was probably only 50% or 60% "well" in those first months of my treatment and recovery.  I still had issues.  I still obsessed.  I still didn't let my baby eat fruits or veggies after Noon (that's a WHOLE other blog post about PPOCD we'll save for another day).  BUT, I was well enough.  Well enough to care for myself and my baby.  Well enough to know I wanted to begin to support other women.  Well enough to know I wanted to get even more well.

I hope your journey to wellness will be short and sweet.  I hope your treatment will be immediately and 100% effective and you won't have to spend much time on the spectrum.  I hope you find that all the symptoms on this list are old news within months of discovering you have a PMD.  BUT, if they're not, don't be surprised.  Don't be scared or sad.  You will get better.  It just may take some time.

My PPD Video on WebMD

A couple of months ago I was contacted by the video production department at WebMD.  They were seeking PPD Survivors to do a profile piece on Postpartum Depression.  After a great and lengthy conversation with the head producer we knew we were a terrific fit.  Though it was the busiest time of the year for me (remember that huge event I plan at work that just happens to be about a week before Lorenzo's birthday?), I knew I couldn't pass up the opportunity to share my experience and hopefully educate and send a message of hope to those families who are suffering.  Just a short week later, the camera crew arrived at church (my place of work) and spent the day with me.  We did about 1.5 hours in the interview phase (that's the part where I am sitting in a chair and you can see a vase behind me) and then spent some time more casually taping me at work, home with my family and at the yoga studio that I frequent for some "me time." 


Here is the link to the video.  Thanks to WebMD for caring about Perinatal Mood Disorders!!!

Kudos to another magazine for parents!

So a couple of days ago- just a few short weeks since I discovered the PPAnxiety piece in Cookie, I opened my mailbox to see another feature story on perinatal mood disorders!  This time, Parenting magazine does a great piece on postpartum depression in their November issue.  It even mentions our local medical guru, Dr. Zachary Stowe.  I love that the piece focuses on the treatment programs for women that are specifically geared towards PMDs.  Since there are so few of them in our country, still, I am grateful for each venue in which women can be made aware they do exist. 

I encourage you to look for this piece if you already get the magazine (I get two copies each month because it was the "reward" for ordering something online) or to use the link above to read it online.  Once you've read it, let me know what you think!

Got Clutter?

Last week I decided that I REALLY did want to put the effort in beginning to prepare our home to put on the market in the hopes of selling it soon and purchasing a new (larger) home.  There are lots of reasons that I feel it is time for a bigger house, and I will share these in the coming months as things hopefully begin to unfold with this next step we hope to take. 

As I began to pull things out from drawers and cabinets, I made piles and stacks of items...keep, give away, trash, storage, return to where I pulled it from.  After several hours and a couple of boxes and bags later, I had successfully organized the belongings in a particular area of my home.  The items that weren't worth keeping made it out to the trash can.  The items to be given away were placed in a box and the items I plan to keep (having made it through round one of "operation de-clutter") we put into plastic storage bins and returned to cabinets or closets. 

It was amazing how in just a few hours I had lightened my load.  Not just physically having lessened the junk in my home, but also in how I felt emotionally.  The weight of that disorganization and over-abundance seemed to be lessened greatly.  I realized that in organizing and simplifying the contents of my home I had also de-cluttered my mind.  What a great spiritual lesson...
Ecclesiastes Chapter 3: states:
3:6  A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

For me it is a time to determine what to keep and what to cast away...this time I concentrated on the tangible things in my life, but I think next time I might use this technique to work on some of the emotional stuff that would be better off if cast away.

I hope you'll join me in this effort to clear out some of the physical and emotional junk that may be weighing on you- I think you'll be glad you did! 

Reminder: Free Postpartum Support Group Will Meet Twice a Month Starting Nov. 5th

Where: Ridgeview Institute
              3995 South Cobb Drive
              Pro North Building
              Group Room 6
              Smyrna, GA 30080
     
When: Starting in November, beginning on the 5th
             1^st and 3^rd Thursdays of every month
             2- 3:30 p.m.
           

Who should attend: Mothers who are struggling or who have struggled with postpartum - depression, anxiety, OCD, panic and/or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

 
Group Facilitator: Jacqueline Cohen, LAPC                                

  404-822-1026

Follow-up: How your Partner reacts to your PPMD

Back in September, I posted about how your partner reacts to your PPMD.  In this post, I asked the question of my readers and got some feedback.  My hope is that this feedback will help women to help their partners to help them and that partners who are reading here will be enlightened by what these Survivor Mamas said.  Please post your ideas into the comments section or email me.  

D. shares, "I think I told you once before that one of the most horrific part of having the PPMD was that my husband and mother did not believe that I had it.  I have always been somewhat of a hypochondriac, so I think they thought I was making it all up.  In fact, at one point my husband told me that there was no such illness as postpartum depression and that people just made it up to get sympathy.  I had absolutely no support and I was in such a bad state that I did not know where to turn for help.  The two people who I would normally lean on for support, my husband and mother, both wanted nothing to do with me and my made up illness.  It wasn't until I found your peer support group that I felt a sigh of relief.  There were actually people out there who KNEW what was happening to me and that I was not making it all up!  At some point, I think my husband and mother both realized that YES, I was struggling but it was not until many months later."

K shares, "1. I think it's important for fathers to make sure that they give their wives time to themselves, to do whatever they want, away from their husband and kid(s), at the very least 4 hours to themselves every single week.

2. I think it is also important that fathers show that they are making sacrifices in their life for their new child, just as the mothers are doing. Both parties should feel that they are having to make compromises with raising a child, not just one parent making all of the compromises and sacrifices."

Another K shares, "Gosh it is hard to even really remember those dark days much less how M. responded to me, but........I guess the biggest thing was he remained calm - regardless of what I was saying...He never over reacted, or really even reacted at all to my craziness.  He was very supportive toward me with any attempt at care giving I made - he was a cheerleader when I was nursing, but completely left it up to me and supported me when we needed to stop and switch to formula.  He took a lot of care of M. and let me sleep (wallow), which was great at the time, but maybe a bit of a double edged sword because I did not have to face reality for quite a while - not sure if that was good or bad, but it is what he thought I needed."

Thanks to all three of these Survivor Mamas for their honesty and willingness to dig deep about this topic! 

Cookie Magazine features PP Anxiety Story in November Issue

I was thrilled to open my mailbox on Thursday and see one of my favorite family magazines had chosen a perinatal mood disorder as a major topic in the most recent issue.  Cookie is a great magazine that has a bit of a different bent than Parents and other traditional magazines focused on motherhood.  I have seen some of those mags mention a PPD statistic here and there or even offer a couple of paragraphs about Postpartum Depression, but how exciting that Cookie took the road less traveled and focused on PP Anxiety and OCD!

I suggest you run to your local magazine retailer and pick up a copy as soon as you can.  The author of the story, Kate Rope, describes her experience in detail and is not afraid to mention that she needed an anti-depressant med to get her back on track.  I love the part where she mentions saying "I want out." repeatedly.  She follows that statement with a clarification that it isn't her family she wanted out of.  It is her MIND.  WOW.  I can totally relate to that.  There were about 3 months of my life where I wanted nothing more than to be back in my mind- my right mind and if I couldn't have had that one back I would have definately wanted out of the one I was in regardless.  Thankfully, as do all (or at least almost all) moms who receive and are compliant with treatment, Kate recovers.  I am so glad I recovered, too, and am especially grateful for continued awareness raised through sources that will definately reach the right audiences like magazines for new moms.